1. sacred-lands:

    Denying the importance of your own feelings leads to denying the importance of your thoughts, which leads to denying the importance of your actions, which leads to denying your own importance as a human being. 

    If something is causing you pain, it matters. It’s not invalid or unimportant.

    Omg the truth

    Reblogged from: hugthemountain
  2. I needed to see this today :)

    I needed to see this today :)

    Reblogged from: mental-wellness
  3. Elementary school all the way to high school gym class was often very uncomfortable for me. When I was a kid I started out trying my hardest at everything because I was interested in learning about and sports and games ie.) tag. In grades 1-3 gym class was pretty fun, but then when I hit grade four everything started to change gradually. Boys were getting more competitive, rough, and mean. I joined a girls basketball team in grade five, that is one sport I really enjoyed. In gym class I didn’t enjoy it as much because the atmosphere was much more rough playing with boys, but I still enjoyed games like dodgeball and kickball.

    image

    Grades 7-9 were the worst for me, gym with exclusively girls was competitive while playing and on the sidelines. Some days I was terrified to go to gym class because I was afraid what mean things people would do and/ or say to me. Gym with boys was rough and competitive at times, but I feel like having co ed gym at that age would have been beneficial because then people have to learn to cooperate, work together, tolerate each others differences, and so on. I also feel that separating people based on gender is kind of degrading and that could be part of why the girls in gym class were so mean to each other. If boys and girls are equal then they should be treated as such. Sure the majority of boys are stronger than girls, but i think it is important to learn how to engage in healthy competition ie. cooperate, don’t be a sore loser or a conceited winner, etc.

    image

    I took jazz lessons when I was 10 after school and hip-hop when I was 13-15 and again at 17. Dance class when I was younger was awesome, everybody was nice and we were all praised for trying our hardest. In my teenage years, every dance class I took there was some group of girls who bullied me. My family, friends, instructors, and teachers would tell me I was doing great, but these girls seemed to think I was “trying too hard” while these girls came to class in tight fitting jeans and barely put effort into their choreography. I wondered to myself is this how I am supposed to act? Is this what I need to do in order to fit in? It made me sad to think this way, but it seemed that in order to survive junior high and the remainder of high school I needed to give up. So I did and I regret it.

    image

    My experience is representative of norms in society in the sense that it is unsettling to watch a girl try because they may succeed. Amongst a group of teenagers that are all struggling with self confidence and figuring out who they really are, I suppose they could be jealous or maybe thought I was doing something wrong by trying. Everyone deep down wants to achieve greatness but it is hard when society ie. Family, friends, school, church, media etc. Informs you that other things should be more important ie. Getting a boyfriend, partying, alcohol, drugs etc.  

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  4. Married with children: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z6Atrcyofk

    is a sitcom featuring a nuclear family: dad/ husband Al as the bread winner, mom/ Wife Peggy as the home maker, their daughter Kelly as a ditsy, blonde, teenager, and their son Bud as a macho, rambunctious, boy. Peggy and the kids all take money from the Dad. Peggy is quite self absorbed, she rarely cooks but when she does it is a complete disaster ie. Drops her cigarettes into food. She is unemployed and enjoys feminine things like, shoes, dieting, talk shows etc. Kelly is a ditsy, unintelligent, naive blonde (a common stereotype across media even today) who is very girly and loves to shop. Kelly also fights with her brother frequently. Bud likes picks fights with his sister, play with his toys ie. He uses a plastic knife to scare his sister into thinking he is going to kill her.

    Two and a Half Men  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1BLY0WRFI0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2L5U6KjmJs is a sitcom in which Allan moves in with Charlie after his separation with his wife Judith. Judith is portrayed as unreasonable, greedy, self-righteous regarding her decision to pursue divorce and her right to alimony. Judith is always ruining the boys (Charlie, Allan, and Jake) fun by taking things too seriously. Allan has joint custody of his son Jake who lives with him on weekends.

    Charlie is a womanizer, an alcoholic, and a wealthy man who is afraid of commitment. The first real relationship Charlie has is with a dance instructor named Mia. The main reason why Charlie pursues Mia is because she wants nothing to do with him (he wants what he can’t have). Mia eventually gives in and they start seeing each other more frequently (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbwqJeMEAfQ ). It does not take long for the two to fall and love and for Mia to try and make Charlie a “better man” ie. cut back on alcohol consumption and quit smoking, eating meat etc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZI-4nIUGBc). Sooner rather than later Charlie throws in the towel and calls it quits on the relationship. 

    Charlie and Allan always make fun of their mother behind her back and blame her for their relationship problems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peTdUFH4lc4 Their mother is portrayed as greedy, self-absorbed, manipulative, an alcoholic and a neglectful mother. They express true hatred towards her and repeated make jokes about how much they wish she would die.

    Both of these Sitcoms portray stereotypes that are common throughout the history of television and are damaging. The women are all low in intelligence, moody, and are either unemployed or have stereotypical feminine jobs ie. Mia is a dance teacher. In Married with Children, Peggy’s character seems to be a satire of an unfit housewife. The audience always laughs when Peggy messes up on chores around the house, and she is too useless and lazy to get a job of her own. Therefore it is reasonable to assume that Peggy’s character is designed to socialize women to play their roles properly as women; housewives, girlfriends, mothers etc.The beginning of scene one episode one bud holds a toy knife to Kelly’s throat and exclaims “Die commie bimbo!”, Peggy only tells him not to surprise people like and mentions nothing of the bimbo insult. Also while having an argument with Peggy about going to the ball game, Al says “trust me I am your husband, know best.” In attempt to end the conversation. Peggy does not get mad at his conversation but simply pouts and asks “Isn’t staying home with me fun?”. When Al still persists that he is going to the game, Peggy threatens to go shopping with his money.

    In two and a half men women in general are portrayed as gold diggers, masters of manipulation, seductive etc.( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r9er8I_Fqs). When the male characters have sex with someone and regret it later on, the men are portrayed as unable to control themselves. Charlie and Alan make fun of Jake’s naivety and often see him as stupid. Charlie encourages Jake to be a ladies man and to not grow up to be like his father ie. Get married, put your heart and soul into a relationship. The episode where Jake tends his boy-girl party is a good example of how Charlie raises Jake https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgT9m1usinM. He teaches Jake to be macho, indulge his sexuality, and to hide his true self. Alan confides in Charlie that he wishes he would have taught him what he has jake about manhood when they were younger.

    In the old sitcoms like Married with children, it was common and acceptable to have actors play stereotypical characters that perpetuate strict gender binaries ie. females like shopping, talk shows, etc. and males like toy weapons, sports, drinking beer and so on. Promiscuity in female characters was implied but not so explicitly, same for men. today’s sitcoms like Two and a half men feature characters engaging in frequent one night stands, with unintelligent, skinny, beautiful, at times emotional women being lied to and blown off for the purpose of “getting off”. Those who are committed to the idea of seeking and committing to an honest and loyal relationship always end up taken advantage up ie. Alan gets sucked into leasing candy a new car and paying her dental bills. The fact that Alan gets taken advantage of by multiple women in this show perpetuates the myth that “Nice guys finish last.”. Charlie and at times Alan encourage Jake to follow in Charlies footsteps with regards to dating women. Also, there are underrepresentations of ethnic minorities in both TV shows.

    Both shows contain caricatures that socialize people to assign themselves and others one strict gender binary or another. Married with Children is a satire of the concept “nuclear family” that encourages the “laws of the father”/ patriarchal hierarchy in society and in the home. Two and a half men basically reinforces the clichés “boys will be boys” and “boys will sew their wild oats”. Charlies life is a series of risk-taking behaviours ie. Unprotected sex, binge drinking, cigars, poor diet, etc. And he encourages Alan and Jake to follow in his footsteps. It doesn’t take long for Alan to follow suit and to give in to his desires to have a sexual, infantile relationship with someone young enough to be his daughter (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMqWEgFcgzI). Ethnic minorities are so under-represented in both shows its as if they do not exist, which suggests that living in a male dominated, white society is ideal.

  5. policymic:

    Beyonce pens equality essay, proves she’s the woman’s studies professor you wish you had

    Just when you thought your one-sided relationship with her couldn’t get any better, Beyoncé wrote a feminist essay entitled, “Gender Equality is a Myth.” If this makes you want to go back to school and write about the movement that will ultimately be known as Beyoncism, “the interdisciplinary study of how to make feminism the coolest thing ever,” you are not alone.

    Read more excerpts

    WGST 201: SECTION 3

    Even though Beyonce Knowles identifies as a feminist, her portrayals in music are problematic. One of her music videos I will be talking about today is the one titled “Flawless” :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBe9Vtodzg4

    The video starts off by showing clips from the episode of “Star Search” that 12 year old Beyonce and the group titled “Girls Tyme” competed against a group named “Skeleton Crew”.When I watched the clips of each performance, I felt that Girls Tyme did a better job than did The Skeleton Crew, because they used their space well, their choreography was in sync, their vocals were exceptional considering how out of breath they were from dancing, and they were all very talented for their age. This is the link to their performance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWXPl18psZA

    as well as The Skeleton Crew’s: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnwsnDUVG5s

    The announcer introduced Girls Tyme his facial expressions and voice were very unenthusiastic compared to his introduction of The Skeleton Crew. This clip at the beginning of the Flawless video is a good way to express the differences in the intersectionality of race, gender, and age and access to political, social, and economic resources then versus now. Back when Beyonce was 12 the intersectionality of these things prevented her from pursuing her career as a musician, now she is even more successful than the so called “champions” of Star Search, The Skeleton Crew.

    In music today many different ethnicities are represented in music, but whether or not they are accurate portrayals is another issue. Woman of color are typically represented as animalistic, primal, erotic and hypersexual, and Beyonce does not do much to combat this stereotype. She is dancing sexually, half naked amongst other people partying, and making out. I do appreciate the gender-bent representations in this video ie. Flannel shirt she wears that portrays the working class man in contrast to her booty shorts and panty which is symbolic of women as objects. She also has white men beneath her on either side of the couch, and the people dancing in the crowd are made up of made different ethnicities. The audio except from the feminist Chimamanda Agozi Adichie helps to set the tone for the video. I like this video, but looking at it through a feminist lens there are portrayals in this video that could have been done differently.

    Just hearing the song by itself it sounds almost condescending to women: “I know when you were little girls, you dreamt of being in my world…Respect that, bow down bitches (Crown!)”. All the talk of being flawless could be interpreted as Beyonce thinking she is better and above people of lower classes. I appreciate subtlety and symbolism in both the video and lyrics, but some people might not be able to pick up on that kind of stuff, especially young kids. “don’t think I am just his little wife” sends the message that women shouldn’t let their boyfriends, husbands, etc. hold them back from pursuing their dreams, a very positive message.

    Overall I enjoy this song and video and I understand that lyrics are subjective and can be interpreted in so many ways, but it is important to exercise our critical thinking skills when consuming media and ask ourselves why the creators of this video chose to do things the way they did. Knowledge is power and the key to a better future. 

    Reblogged from: lacigreen
  6.  

     

     

     

    Merida is not your typical Disney princess. In the movie Brave she spends her spare time practicing archery and riding her horse, despite her mothers disapproval. Throughout the movie her mother pressures her to be more lady-like and marry a man.

    Merida is an awesome role-model for young kids everywhere! She has messy hair, doesn’t wear makeup, is gangly, tall, and awkward at times, like most teenagers are. This is good for kids to see and idolize because it takes off the pressure to grow up to be perfect. The storyline is unique too because she ends up spending a lot of time with her mother and as a result, they become closer and her mother accepts her for who she is. I think this is really good for kids to see because as we grow older our relationships with our parents change, and it takes some effort on both parts to maintain them.

    While this movie is good in that is it a step up from the beauty myth: the “use images against of beauty against women”, The images above are still gendered and still somewhat perpetuates the beauty myth. If you take a closer look at the images above you will see that she hardly looks directly at the camera, she is always looking at and reacting to someone or something else. This is a common theme in photographs and cartoon stills of feminine characters, whereas men in pictures typically display a more proud, focused, and composed stature. Her emotions being displayed most of the time are warm, open, silly; feminine. She also has clear skin, is almost always smiling, and takes up very little space.

    When we look at this gender-bent photo of Merida, the stance and posture of this particular portrayal brings to mind the words challenging, assertive, tough; masculine. The freckles are more accentuated, the hair is shorter, and the clothing and lighting is darker, and the character is front and centre of the photo.Why do these particular features distinguish whether or not this character is feminine or masculine? These characteristics are not just exclusive the gender, they determined by personality and situation.

    This movie is a step up from your average Disney princess movie because it does not send the message that a woman’s main goal should be to look as perfect as possible, marry a man, and do your gender properly ie. Cook, clean, have babies, raise them, and start the cycle over again. This movie sends the message that you can be whatever you wish to be, but it still assigns gender roles and socializes children to perform them the way they always have been.

  7. 250 posts!

    250 posts!

  8. WGST 201 Section 1: DIY Beauty Hacks Every Girl Should Know

    psych-quotes:

    image

    Why should every girl know how to do their make up? who invents these standards of beauty?

    The capitalist members of society stay rich the poor stay poor because everyone participates and accepts the culture as is. Everyone wants to achieve the american dream: to obtain money, nice things, nice body, face, and hair etc. and an overall perfect life. Who wouldn’t want these things? All we have to do is work hard in order for our wishes to be granted (is what we are told anyway).

    From a young age we are socialized to want to strive to achieve such things from the moment that we are born. It all starts with the types of toys we are given, clothes, TV shows, the way we are treated by our parents and loved ones etc. In my teens i remember relying a lot on one material form of socialization: magazines. They educated me and my friends on the dos and don’t’s of hair, make-up, and fashion; what every girl needs and wants. I by no means could afford any of the things I came across, which made me feel like I wasn’t performing my gender properly. These ads for material things along side “how to make your crush fall for you in just 7 easy steps” articles just sends so many girls the wrong kinds of messages.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWSxzjyMNpU

    "80% of the worlds people barely have any wealth…the richest 2%… have more wealth than half the world."

    Pop culture influences young people throughout the entire world, which is owned and controlled by capitalist members of society. The wealth of rich countries (i.e.. US) has been steadily rising since colonialism. Looking at those numbers and the percentage of men in positions of power and the wage gap between white men and differing ethnicities, abilities, genders, etc, I would say that the rulers of the capitalist class are working hard to keep the structuralist model of society going so that they can continue to benefit from it.

    If we continue to participate in and accept this culture, we are maintaining the exclusion, segregation, and subordination of marginalized and minority individuals. I posted the DIY link above because it shows that people in lower classes are trying to mimic the looks of the capitalist class by doing their make-up a certain way to look like it is expensive and high quality ie. vibrant, even coverage, long lasting etc. White women in particular are somewhat accepted and included in the capitalist group if they are married and/ or born into wealth. Women are encouraged to accentuate certain features ie. lips, eyes, hair, face shape to please the male gaze in hopes of making their American Dream come true, because we live in a patriarchal, male dominated society. While it is good that people are trying to save money by being resourceful, it is important for people to ask themselves why they find important to look a certain way. If we come to discover we don’t like the answer, we should seek to change it by talking about it!

    Reblogged from: psych-quotes
  9. You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

    If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

    On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

    The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

    There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

    Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

    This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

    So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

    For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

    an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)

    HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.

    Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.

    (via lil-ith)

    It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.

    (via geekdomme)

    I will always reblog this. Always.

    (via myherocomplex)

    Reblogged from: feminismisprettycool
  10. feminismisprettycool:

    gabifresh:

    The gabifresh x swimsuitsforall bikini has been restocked and is now available to buy here! For more photos from this shoot, check out gabifresh.com! If you reblog, please keep this caption <3

    WANT WANT WANT WANT DO WANT

  11. It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.
    Abraham Maslow (via apoetreflects)
    Reblogged from: beherenowandzen
  12. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

    Leo Buscaglia

    (via replanted)

    Reblogged from: psych-facts
  13. Jai-Elle. turned 4 today!

    Jai-Elle. turned 4 today!

  14. “I forgive the tears I was made to shed, I forgive the pain and the disappointments, I forgive the betrayals and the lies, I forgive the slanders and intrigues, I forgive the hatred and the persecution, I forgive the blows that hurt me, I forgive the wrecked dreams, I forgive the stillborn hopes, I forgive the hostility and jealousy, I forgive the indifference and ill will, I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice, I forgive the anger and the cruelty, I forgive the neglect and the contempt, I forgive the world and all its evils… I also forgive myself. May the misfortunes of the past no longer weigh on my heart. Instead of pain and resentment, I choose understanding and compassion. Instead of rebellion, I choose the music from my violin. Instead of grief, I choose forgetting. Instead of vengeance, I choose victory. I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return, of giving, even when I have nothing, of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties, of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned, of drying my tears, even while I weep, of believing, even when no one believes in me… So it is. So it will be.” - Paulo Coelho
    (via stacyangeline)

    This reminds me much of the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi.

    (via beherenowandzen)

    Very beautiful!

    Reblogged from: beherenowandzen
  15. metalliccolouredtitan:

    *deep breath*

    THERE IS SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH THE GENERAL MALE MENTALITY WHEN I, AS A MALE WITH MANY FEMALE FRIENDS, HAVE TO FREQUENTLY PRETEND TO BE MY FRIENDS’ BOYFRIEND SIMPLY SO OTHER DUDES WON’T BE CREEPY AND FUCKING GROPE THEM

    THERE IS SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH THE GENERAL MALE MENTALITY WHEN THEY RESPECT COMPETITION MORE THAN THE ACTUAL PERSON THEY’RE TRYING TO GET WITH

    hahah refreshing!!

    Reblogged from: hugthemountain
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